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Yes Virginia, There ARE Vampires!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on October 28, 2012 by dcmclaughlin

Every writer needs to write a story that sings to him or her. Sometimes it’s easy to know what sort of setting to put the characters into. Sometimes the tale seems to write itself and the author is taken on a rollercoaster ride into a land they never knew they would venture into.

My vampire story did that to me, it possessed me, took me over and wrote itself. (Such a vampiric thing to do!) But every writer, even a writer of fiction, has to somewhere in his or her heart, make the characters believable, even if the characters are complete and total fiction. If the characters are not believable to the writer, how is the reader going to accept them? Or is the writer just a charlatan, weaving a lie for us all to get swept up in?

So I guess where I’m going with this is leading to an eventual question.

Do I believe in vampires?

Hmmmm. Let me think about this one for a minute.

Okay, I’m done thinking.

Yes, I do believe in vampires.

Now before you stop reading this because I’m talking like a madman, let me clarify my previous sentence.

There are many kinds of vampires.

Do I believe in the kind of vampires that sleep in graves and only come out at night to bite you on the neck to suck your blood?

No, I do not.

But vampires are real and they do exist. Some may even be reading this right now. And you all, every single person on this planet, has met a vampire. That is unless you live under a rock. Many people have vampires in their immediate families. Many people work with vampires. Some have even had romantic relationships with vampires.

I myself have worked with vampires on many occasions. I’ve even slept next to one for seven years.

Let me clarify further.

A vampire is any person who sucks the life out of you.

Let me give you an example. You finally accomplish that task you’ve been struggling with for so long. All you can think about is going up to your friend and crowing about it. You tell them and they wave you off like its nothing, or say they mastered that in one day, or they just don’t have time to hear you. You feel crushed, deflated, your bubbly mood has just been drained completely out of you and you feel the opposite of just a few seconds before.

Well congratulations! You’ve just been sucked dry by a real world vampire!

Another example. There’s a person in your family that you’re always trying to please. You’ve bent yourself over backwards doing all kinds of things to try to get them to notice you. All they ever seem to do is criticize and demoralize you. They’re never pleased with whatever you do. Getting a compliment out of them is like pulling teeth the old fashioned way. They also seem to know every single button to push to upset you and are more than happy to do it every time they see you. Every time they speak to you, it hurts and you die a little more.

Again you’re dealing with a toothsome bloodsucker.

Is the face of a certain person beginning to form in your mind? Maybe their name is coming to you.

A real world vampire is anyone you have to deal with on a pretty predictable cycle that every encounter with them just seems to suck you dry of all enthusiasm, joy, pride or self-accomplishment. It’s stressful just dealing with them. No amount of talking this out with them seems to help and they have absolutely no sympathy for your situation. You leave every encounter feeling tired and drained and you dread having to deal with them ever again.

These are the vampires we have to deal with in our everyday lives. They are real and their numbers are vast. I have dealt with them in the past and there is probably a very good bet that I will still have to deal with some in the future. The truth is vampires are an insidious breed, difficult to avoid completely. How do I deal with them? Well I try not to. I know that is no help to anyone reading this but I really do not have the time to deal with someone who will only bring me down. I deal with them when I have to (and many times I do have to) but if I can avoid the bloodsuckers, I will.

There is another way to deal with them though that I find most enjoyable. As the character of Geoffrey Chaucer said in “Knight’s Tale”, “I will eviscerate you in fiction.”

I love that line! I wish I had written it myself. It says what I feel so beautifully.

Let the vampires you deal with live out their pathetic lives in your stories as a character, a villain or anyone else you choose. Put a literary chain around their neck and jerk it as many times as you feel the need. Let them give your story zest. Make them your unforgettable characters.

So I guess I am promoting literary murder when I say real world vampires definitely deserve to be eviscerated in a most memorable way. But it is certainly more preferable…and healthy…to deal with them in this fashion. Stress must be dealt with and released in some way and weaving a tale of fiction from the stress we all must deal with is certainly a very enjoyable way of dealing with it.

Now just make sure your real world vampires do not recognize themselves in your stories.

D. C. McLaughlin